Archive for the ‘Technology’ category

Where’s My Remote Control? Oh. Got it.

October 19, 2006

I read an article recently involving the evolution of humans 1000, 10000, and 100000 years into the future. Apparently human form will adapt to reach its’ peak in the year 3000, in that medicine, technology and natural evolution will all factor favourably into the efficiency of our bodies and lives. This is, of course, assuming that nuclear holocaust does not intervene. The average man will be 6 foot 6, have a lifespan of 120 years, and according to to the press photo attached to the article, be Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (interestingly enough, women will be Halle Berry). We’ll all be “brown” due to changes in diet, climate, and migration.

Now sure. Looking like freakishly perfect, over-sized “Bratz” dolls is all well and good, but it’s further into the future which troubles me. We will see ourselves grow less and less socially apt, as we grow more dependent on technology. Because of this dependence, our bodies will become frail and useless; that is, those of us who can afford this luxurious lifestyle. Have you ever read or seen H.G. Wells’ “The Time Machine”? Well, 100000 years from now, ‘society’ will include two groups: wealthy, weak, useless skeletons with an inability to harness emotions of any kind; and hideously deformed, incompetant ape-men with an inability to do anything useful.

From here, I can go on to conspire that the wealthy stick-men will push science and technology into the far reaches of space, becoming ‘aliens’, and due to their disappearance from the planet, the ape-men will as one evolve back into the form we hold today (the theory sounds familiar, doesn’t it?).

But I won’t go there.
Why?

BECAUSE EVOLUTION ISN’T REAL, YOU BIBLE-HATING FREAKS.

… okay, okay. I don’t believe that to be true. I believe that evolution (or as I call it, “the obvious”) is in fact real, and that I am not a freak. But still, I won’t turn this into a conspiracy theory about where aliens “come from”, or how we’ve evolved. I’m much too concerned about the direction we seem to be heading in. As it stands today, I find we are much too bitchy and snobby in person. The creation of BlackBerry should be a defining point in this inevitable timeline of technology dependence. When you’d rather e-mail or instant message someone than speak to them in person or writing, you’re just giving your personality a big old kick in the cornea.

Obviously, this technology has it’s pluses (which unfortunately include this digital newsletter). It was and continues to be developed with practicality in mind. Ignorance, however is greatly… well… ‘ignored’, in the quest for peaceful living. Not only that, but maybe we’re headed in the wrong direction entirely. Maybe we should be regressing and working even harder to achieve peaceful living. Maybe we should demolish the tubes of the internet, and cars, and self-flushing urinals, and churn some fucking butter! This isn’t going to happen (*childhood dreams crushed*). I think we can, you know, take it fucking easy on the laziness devices though. I was actually going to pick up a copy of Popular Science today to see if I could find an interesting article to go along with mine, but I took one look at the cover and found exactly what I was looking for.

At first, you think “cool”. Then you better damn well be thinking “… sick”. I mean “sick” as in “sweet”. And “sweet” as in “brutal”. Follow? Well, this shit is going too far. A fridge that can cook?! Mmmmm, I can already taste the lack of senses in my motionless waif of a body.

Isn’t it bad enough that we’re already confined to these carbon suits? Imagine what it’s going to be like when we’re thinking “man, I wish I could piss on my own accord” instead of “man, I wish I could shoot fireballs from my mouth”. We should really be working together to increase our undeerstanding of how to go beyond the body. And the internet can be one of the most useful tools in our quest! Current technology has its’ pluses. We just don’t realize that it hasn’t taken control of itself, and that we can guide the revolution.

Or we can let the scientists keep us in check-mate, as political powers instruct them, and — oh Jesus… I didn’t know pawns could be in such a position. Which is exactly where we are.

And this is where ignorance comes back into play. We’re in fucking check-mate and don’t even realize its’ the most powerful position of all.
King.

– John O.

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