Archive for the ‘Social and Politics’ category

Times, they are a changin’

February 13, 2007

We all know what’s going on, but hey this articulates it quite well.


Overkill or Winning Strategy: The Social Network of Barack Obama

February 11, 2007

Looks like America’s most reasonable presidential candidate has launched his own social network along the lines of MySpace and Facebook. Users are encouraged to set up a profile and take part in a community of Obama supporters. Is this a shameful attempt at targeting the MySpace crowd, or a useful way to come together with other supporters?

Check it out.


Grant Morrison: Chaos Magician

January 22, 2007

He might be visibly drunk, but let the man speak.

The Devil Drinks Soy Milk

December 12, 2006

What better way to follow two posts citing the work of literary icons, than with an extremely ridiculous right-wing rant about how soy “makes you gay”.

I suppose I should clarify that, as ridiculously right-wing as I am, it isn’t my rant. Okay, I’m not right-wing either. I’m so not-right-wing that I’m not even sure if I’m left-wing. I’m like… the guy who shows up to protest marches dressed as a robot carrying a picket-sign covered in binary. Except I lack the perpetuating “ingenuity” and “cleverness” that each of those guys think they have every time they go out thinking “NOBODY will expect this”. I’m situated far and beyond the wings of corporate ‘America’, thank you very much. You might call me “indifferent”, or “ignorant”, or “Canadian”. But news flash — names, unlike sticks and/or stones; will never break my bones or hurt me otherwise.

On with the story. And maybe it is a rant.

Enter Jim Rutz. This nut (appearing in the article as a “60 Minutes” reject) describes the soybean using words such as “devil”, “dangerous”, and “feminizing”. Now, I know soy. We go back years. We know each other so well at this point that I frequently christen my bowels with Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Soy Chai beverages — a few times a week usually. Not to mention tofu, and — well you know where I’m going with this. Soy is in almost everything. In fact, to quote Mr. Rutz “you can hardly escape it anymore”.

And believe me, I’ve tried to escape. But soy has this characteristically ambiguous charm… like if you were to go to masquerade and the woman you find most attractive takes off her mask and appears to be a man. But he’s still giving you that look… and now you can’t tell if she is just dressed up like a man, or is actually a man, dressed up as a woman who’s made-up to look like a cross between a woman and a man. Soy also has an ample supply of steel-knit ropes, folding chairs, and dank, dark basements in case laying on the ol’ soy-charm just isn’t enough to keep you captive(ated).

The inability to escape is just the beginning of Jim’s worries. Since soy contains enough Estrogen to feed a small Girl Guides camp for 6 months, those who intake it are bound to succomb to one of three terrifying results. The first applies to babies. Now calm down, just take a breath. Women feeding soy to their babies are not necessarily saying goodbye to motherhood. They are rather, saying “hello!” to their dead babies. After spouting off senile opinions such as “fighting off the damaging effects of soy”, the good doctor (not really a doctor) explains that babies cannot cope with the “massive assault” of soybean weaponry, leading to “inevitable damage” or “death”. He goes on to compare soy baby formula to 5 birth-control pills.

Which brings me to the second, terrifying ramification of soy consumption. This applies directly to women. Your system just can’t handle this enormous surplus of hormones imprisoned by the evil soybean. What he means by this is that you will become so “girly”, that the entire notion of gender will collapse upon itself, rendering you a genderless mutant (also known as a “democrat”). Not so bad. At least you don’t die like a baby. And although you’re genderless, remember — the soybean is nature’s birth-control pill! You can have as much unprotected non-sex as you could ever want. Which brings me to the last  terrifying result. It applies to, well, men…

You catch “gay”.

“What’s so bad about that?” you’re thinking. Well, studies show that over 98% of gays are also homosexuals. A certain percentage of these people also find themselves unwittingly attracted to the same sex. I’ll let the good doctor (not a doctor, barely a journalist) explain:

“Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That’s why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today’s rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t homosexual.” No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can’t remember a time when excess estrogen wasn’t influencing them.”

I can sense the disbelief, so I’ll just let you skip on over to his actual, published, somehow not incinerated article to read the rest. My favorite part is how at the end, he excuses soy sauce just because he likes it.

– John “Hate-Mail” O.

Boy Arrested For ‘Opening Before Xmas’

December 5, 2006

You can tell the Christmas season has finally arrived from a number of traditions. Christmas decorations flooding the streets, malls are open late… snow is falling, and young single mothers are having their kids arrested and charged for committing the crime of curiosity. I suppose this is why I was such a mastermind when it came to attempting the feat of discovering the identity of my presents before that insomnia-inducing morning. I mean, this kid got what he deserved. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to learn after just a few years that night-vision, infrared imagery, grappling hooks and x-ray are the only sure-fire way to soothe that pre-December-25th excitement.

So way-to-go, mom! This will, after all, be your son’s most memorable Christmas (last Christmas with mom).

-John O.

Jesus Camp (Updated)

December 4, 2006

In its’ entirety, I present to you “Jesus Camp”. This is a feature-length documentary on extreme, radical right-wing Evangelicals. Narrowing down on one Christian extremist who devotes her life to crushing childrens’ futures, the filmmakers give a terrifying look into the lives of 50% of America’s population. More Americans believe in angels than evolution.

These are just facts, people. Now if you are using prayer-based virus protection, you may want to turn it off before watching.

UPDATE: I had originally planned on linking to the movie hosted on Google Video, but when I went to retrieve the code, it had been taken down. NOW, it appears that Daily Motion has also taken down the video. You will see this on DVD soon, so I suggest you check it out then. Reader “maryt” was kind enough to let us know of Daily Motions lame-ness, and also to give us a link to a clip from Jesus Camp. If I don’t agree with the morals of the little girl featured in the video, I do agree with her taste in heavy metal.

…Just not Jesus metal.

-John O.

Bush’s Odd Behaviour on 9/11

October 26, 2006

“Not another one”. You’ve seen a lot of videos and read a lot of reports criticizing the Bush Administration, and blaming it for the attacks on the World Trade Center on 9/11. I just stumbled across this video, however… which shed light on some more “interesting” details. Such as Bush saying that he had watched the first plane collide with a tower on TV outside of a classroom, before he was “whisked away” to duty. The first plane’s collision didn’t air on live TV. It was caught on a HandiCam and obtained by CNN the next day. And we all know Bush wasn’t “whisked away”. He sat through some kids reading about a goat.

I thought I would post this video as a companion piece to the deserved rant by Gavin which you might have read in the first issue of our paper zine. It’s an excerpt from Canadian journalist Barry Zwicker’s “The Great Conspiracy”.


-John O.